Posts Tagged ‘thinking out loud’

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Weddings and things

May 23, 2016

The cousin’s wedding I last attended was a lot of fun. Despite my initial worries about how A would deal with a new place, lots of new faces and the general chaos that accompanies a wedding, it was great. Of course she was clingy and didn’t really leave my side for too long, but as long as she had that sense of security, she was really easy to be with. In the three days we spent there, I felt like I understood her a little more and fell in love a little more with the tiny person she is. In a nutshell, this is what she is like around new faces – You spend time to get to know me, you’ll be rewarded and I’ll respond to you. If you’re too in-my-face all the time, I’ll be forever scared of you and cry if you come close. If I like you, chances are that I’ll keep calling your name every time I see you 🙂

The other thing that struck me was this amazing thing about my relatives. Some people always  show up at these weddings no matter what, no matter how far they’ve to travel. And I don’t mean just the first circle of relatives. An uncle from Canada, folks from Calcutta. More than anything, these are folks a who are 60, even 70+ years of age. Even folks who live closer, but someone who can’t walk without support, someone who’s just got out of the hospital a few days earlier. To make that journey that involves a train and then a bus just to be there at a wedding is quite splendid. I guess being around everyone just lifts spirits, so perhaps no journey is too long or hard. My own parents are no different, and I hope I’ll also be the same – someone who always shows up. For a happy occasion or even otherwise. 

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Thinking out loud

May 19, 2015

It feels like it’s been an incredibly long time since I opened WordPress to type out a post. April seems like a long, long time back. 

A post began drafting itself in my head a couple of weeks back. We were on a rather long drive with family, when one of the nieces, all of age 5.5 began to say something about ‘Boys’ games’ and ‘girls’ games’. She was talking about the games she and her friends played on their tabs and smartphones. Predictably, she meant Barbie and those types as the girlie games, and Spider-Man and the likes for boys. 

It got me thinking about something I worry about a fair bit. Raising A to be open-minded without unconsciously reinforcing or encouraging stereotypes and steering her away from prejudice. It means a whole lot of looking inwards and being extremely clear on our stand on certain things. Then comes being conscious about our own actions, and being consistent in the things we do and say. And then being consistent in our behaviour. 

Gulp.

Suddenly I’m wondering why I didn’t begin preparing for all this a couple of years earlier. Yes, most of it is by instinct, but there are habits we let creep in because of laziness and other things, and things we say cos we’re not careful enough and one day those very things will come back to bite us in the ass. 

For instance. While we, as mature (mostly), politically correct (sorta), adults (certainly), might be careful enough to not call someone else fat, I am never careful enough or kind enough to not point it out to S if he’s getting a little soft round the middle. Or if I myself am getting, you know, fat. So I wonder, if I myself say things like, ‘My thighs are SO fat’, how on earth will I ensure that A grows up with a positive body image, and ensure she doesn’t embarrass us by calling someone fat in public?

Am I overthinking it or am I overthinking it? Bah. 

And that is just the tip of the iceberg. What about the things she picks up from people around her?

Brb gotta go buy a bunch of parenting books.