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Thinking out loud

May 19, 2015

It feels like it’s been an incredibly long time since I opened WordPress to type out a post. April seems like a long, long time back. 

A post began drafting itself in my head a couple of weeks back. We were on a rather long drive with family, when one of the nieces, all of age 5.5 began to say something about ‘Boys’ games’ and ‘girls’ games’. She was talking about the games she and her friends played on their tabs and smartphones. Predictably, she meant Barbie and those types as the girlie games, and Spider-Man and the likes for boys. 

It got me thinking about something I worry about a fair bit. Raising A to be open-minded without unconsciously reinforcing or encouraging stereotypes and steering her away from prejudice. It means a whole lot of looking inwards and being extremely clear on our stand on certain things. Then comes being conscious about our own actions, and being consistent in the things we do and say. And then being consistent in our behaviour. 

Gulp.

Suddenly I’m wondering why I didn’t begin preparing for all this a couple of years earlier. Yes, most of it is by instinct, but there are habits we let creep in because of laziness and other things, and things we say cos we’re not careful enough and one day those very things will come back to bite us in the ass. 

For instance. While we, as mature (mostly), politically correct (sorta), adults (certainly), might be careful enough to not call someone else fat, I am never careful enough or kind enough to not point it out to S if he’s getting a little soft round the middle. Or if I myself am getting, you know, fat. So I wonder, if I myself say things like, ‘My thighs are SO fat’, how on earth will I ensure that A grows up with a positive body image, and ensure she doesn’t embarrass us by calling someone fat in public?

Am I overthinking it or am I overthinking it? Bah. 

And that is just the tip of the iceberg. What about the things she picks up from people around her?

Brb gotta go buy a bunch of parenting books. 

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