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L: Lessons

April 14, 2015

A couple of specific lessons I’ve learnt from being a mother, and one very important lesson I’ve learnt from lil A (yes, already)

Plans? HAHA!

I recall the initial few months of being a Mom as a haze of never-ending nursing sessions. And of course, pee and poop-cleaning sessions. Rinse, repeat. At some points I would be exasperated, and I’d say, ‘But baby, I JUST fed you for a whole hour! How could you possibly be hungry again?’, or ‘Baby, you JUST pooped half an hour back!!’ (That explains the hunger) You get the drift. Slowly, I stopped looking for reason. I stopped fighting it. If she was hungry, she just was. If she had to be fed, she just had to be fed. Silly as it sounds, once I made my peace with that – and I don’t know why that even took me time – I was okay. I was less stressed out, I was just happy to drop everything else, and go with the flow.

Before A came along, I’ve always been the sort who had plans. Many of my arguments with S have stemmed from me trying very hard to stick to my plans, invariably putting other plans off track and ending in both of us getting mad. So, yeah, not great. So now that there’s this little person who has needs, and quite often, needs that have to be dealt with NOW!, I’m slowly learning to let go and go with the flow.

Being in the moment

I don’t think I can emphasize this enough to myself. I consciously try and put away my phone or the ipad while I’m with her. It seems like a no-brainer, but I’ve had to remind myself to be there and give her my 100% attention at all times. After all, these are moments I won’t get back, and though some days feel incredibly long, they do fly past unnoticed.

Move on

The day we got her ears pierced, before we went in, I was nervous and paranoid and braced myself for copious tears the entire evening. And of course there were tears. For about 7-8 minutes. And then we got into the car, and I nursed her, and that was it. She quietened down, and by the time we reached home in about 25 minutes, she was back to her chirpy self, and even cracked a smile as we stepped inside. This, while S and I were sullen and downcast and guilty and feeling generally like scum. That was the first time it struck me how quickly babies forget. It barely took 10 minutes for A to forget the pain and the entire episode. She was great the rest of the evening too. Now, I’m someone who maybe quick to forgive, but I rarely forget. So this has been a huge lesson for me. I keep reminding myself to deal with things the way she dealt with the piercing – let it all out, fuhgedddaboutit, and for God’s sake, stop being an adult, and move on. Like an infant 🙂

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